They are our midwives who walk beside bereaved families though their most difficult moments. A gentle presence through unimaginable loss.
For Bereavement Support Midwives Bec Simmons, Kailean Kohlweg and Carrie Wilson, honouring every little life and supporting every family following the loss of a baby is a path they chose - one of dedication to making a meaningful difference during the hardest of goodbyes.
With combined midwifery experience of more than 40 years, the small, close-kit team was drawn to the profession by their interest in pregnancy, birth and supporting women and families through a significant time of life.
“I loved the idea that midwives get to be there for some of the happiest moments in a family’s life but also that we have an important role when things don’t go as planned,” Kailean said.
“I wanted a profession where I could make people feel safe, heard, and supported, while also providing the clinical care they need.”
Now working in bereavement care, Bec, Kailean and Carrie said they had found their passion – a rewarding role providing emotional support, comfort and compassion during unimaginable heartbreak.
“There is something incredibly meaningful about being able to slow everything down, give families time and space with their baby, and help them create memories that they can hold on to for the rest of their lives,” Kailean said.
“I feel incredibly privileged to be able to walk alongside families during such an important and heartbreaking time, and to make sure they know that their baby is seen, valued, and remembered.”
Kailean said their role was also advocating for families’ wishes, involving the people who were important to them, and to ensuring their cultural, emotional, and practical needs were considered.
“We help create a safe space where families feel that their baby matters, their choices matter, and that they are not alone in what they are going through.
“We can’t take away their pain, but we can make sure they don’t have to experience that pain feeling alone or unsupported.
“Acknowledging their baby as an individual, creating meaningful memories, and simply being present when there aren’t any words that can sometimes make things better.
“I feel very privileged to do this work,” Kailean said.
Giving so much of themselves to families during difficult times makes caring for themselves and each other equally important.
“For me, that starts with recognising that it’s okay to be affected by the work. We don’t have to be completely removed from the emotion to be professional and provide good care,” Kailean said.
“As a team, we check in with each other, debrief after difficult experiences, and make sure no one is carrying something particularly heavy on their own.
“We know each other well enough to recognise when someone might need a little extra support.”
Bec said being real and honest with each other helped.
"We are good at saying when we are struggling, talking and checking in.”